Bryan Lange

Someone once said the only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life. So please excuse me if I tear up a lot during my remarks. 

I remember sitting in sacrament meeting when I was 12 years old, I don’t remember the speakers or the songs or really anything else about the meeting except that it was dark outside and right in the middle of the meeting Mom and Dad left.  My Aunt Vonnie took us home and told us to get some dinner and Mom and Dad would be home soon.  When they arrived home, they had a baby with them.  I remember he had blond blond hair and the bluest eyes I think I had ever seen.  They introduced him as Anthony and said that he was going to be our new brother.  That began my love affair with the cutest little blond haired baby ever.  We officially adopted him about a year later and then he became Bryan Davis Lange.

About a week after Bryan came to live with us, Mom found out she was pregnant with Brent.  She had never been sick with any of the rest of us but she was with Brent.  Bryan was very small and malnourished when we got him.  For several months he had a hard time keeping down just about anything we fed him.  Every time Bryan lost ‘his’ food Mom lost hers . For that reason,  he soon became my charge.  Mom moved his crib into my bedroom and I would get up with him in the night, to feed him and change his sheets and clean him up and rock him back to sleep until he woke up again and we repeated the same routine.   Bryan became my special baby.  Maybe that’s why I was always his favorite---sorry guys---it’s just the facts---that is why I am up here representing all my brothers and sisters instead of one of them.  Bryan wanted me here.

When I found out I would be representing the siblings, I asked all of them to send their memories and give me their input.  It’s funny, the 2 business men wrote me concise well thought out emails, my sisters called and just visited.  I loved both methods.  So what I am going to say today is a composite of all of our thoughts and memories of our special brother.  

I say special because when he was little we used to tell him that he was special because he didn’t come the usual way babies came. Instead we got to choose him. 

When he was little people used to tell him all the time what beautiful blond hair and blue eyes he had.  He would look at them and with the determination that all of you who know him can appreciate, he would say my hair is not blond and I have brown eyes!  He wanted to be like the rest of his family and no matter how much we told him that we loved his blond hair and blue eyes---he didn’t have them.  Finally when Bryan was about 4 or 5, we had a missionary in our area named Elder Farley.  Elder Farley had blond hair and blue eyes and he and Bryan became best buds.  Then Bryan realized how cool it was to be a blond hair blue eyed kid.

It’s funny, Melinda said, that Wednesday when we were all in the hospital with Bryan that she just kept thinking she just wanted to see his beautiful piercing blue eyes one more time. There is an oft quoted scripture that is actually not a scripture but rather the words of a philosopher from the middle ages who said the eyes are the window to the soul.   Bryan’s eyes were the window to his soul.  They were tender, sorrowful, at times pained they were hopeful, and laughing but always loving.  You could always tell what Bryan was feeling through his eyes.

            Back to little Bryan, about the same time Bryan came to live with us so did our Uncle whom we called Unkie.  Unkie was sick, too, and he lived with us while he was recovering.  Unkie would sit in the living room most of each day and read book after book  and newspaper after newspaper.  Finally when his health became better, he would take walks. Well you know how healing a little toddler can be, Bryan became the best medicine to Unkie.  He would climb up on Unkie’s lap and sit there for hours while Unkie read, sometimes to Bryan and sometimes to himself.  Unkie always read him the funnies.  Bryan would often fall asleep in his arms. Then when Unkie started walking, he would take Bryan with him in the stroller and walk for miles.

            Jody was telling me about one of her favorite memories.  Mom was in the kitchen fixing dinner and Bryan kept pestering her and she told him to just go outside and get out from underneath her feet.  He did for a short time but then he came back in grabbed the newspaper and climbed into Unkie’s big reading chair.  When Mom called us for dinner little Bryan said “I’ll be there in a minute I just need to finish reading the paper.”

            During most of Bryan’s school years I was either in college or on my mission so my memories are few.  We would talk when I went home, but Jody and Melinda and Brent were there. So this part is their memories.

            Bryan loved learning everything he could.  Melinda  remembers him sitting in his room and reading book after book.  Maybe he got that from Unkie.  Bryan loved animals.  We had a Shetland pony named Ginger and Bryan loved that little pony and he would spend hours with Ginger feeding and petting him and just sitting on his back.  We had a big St Bernard named Moses.  Bryan would go outside with his comic books lay down using Moses as his pillow and just while away the hours.

            When we still lived in California we had a wash behind the house we would go catch tadpoles and baby frogs and release them in the pool.  Bryan used to love to swim and play catch and release with them.

            When he got to high school, he had 2 loves, he loved track, distant running, and he was on the debate team (surprise.)  He was always very proud of the fact that he was chosen to go to boys state.  We were proud of him too.

            Well, Bryan grew up. he got married  --- a couple times.  I just want to say here that we love these 2 women.  Barbara is the mother of his first 2 children, Mallory and Michael.  Grayson and Katie’s mom is Jorie.  Bryans children were his life. We all say that about our children.  But Bryan lived it.  He really saw things differently than many of us.  Things- possessions, weren’t important to Bryan.  His people were his treasures.  He was most happy in his shorts and Hawaiian shirts hanging out with his dear ones.  He would defer most other things to have the time with them.  He saw everything through his compassionat non-judgemental  beautiful blue eyes.  He reached out to many who were lonely and felt they were not understood.  Bryan understood.

            I’m going to read the  brothers’ tender emails now.  They say anything I may have left out. I’ll start with Brent’s.

From my first memories, I remember being together.

He always got to experience life 2-years ahead of me – I go to learn from him

We swam, we explored, we scouted, we read, we laughed, we cried, we shared, we were stingy

We both loved good food and Birthday dinners – Mac and Cheese, Fried Chicken, Franco American Spaghetti, Hamburgers, Pot Roast, mashed potatoes and gravy.

He hated doing the dishes, I didn’t mind

I got my chores done early, I am not sure Bryan ever got his chores done – I always ended up helping him finish his.  That is how I learned that the work was never done – until the work is done.

When we were young we fought to the finish several times and both landed many blows

Then we would nurse each other back to health

We got grounded together

We protected each other

He loved TV, I hated TV

I like to work, he liked to talk

I dubbed the top bunk, he loved the bottom bunk

He loved to sleep, not me

I like things clean, he did not care about that

He is smart as all get out, I have to work for that

He loved debate. I didn’t know what that was

We played thousands of board and mind games – he mostly won

We played thousands of sports games – I mostly won

We both loved being together

He tested boundaries, I mostly stayed inside the lines

He was arrogant at times, so was I

I have been humbled many times, so has he

We share many similar regrets

We share many similar victories

As we grew older, long stretched of time would pass when we would not communicate, but we did not grow apart.  We were, and always will be close, with him continuing to experience things before me.  I have learned a great deal from my Bryan who always loved and NEVER judged me, nor me him.

There has and always will be a unspoken (spoken in private) and unconditional love between us.  They say opposites attract – well I guess that is the case.

What a perfect relationship.

He was one of my Heroes and I one of his

I love you B.

   Now here’s Rob’s message.

My recollections of Bryan.

             Finally I would like to mention one other person.  That is Jennifer.  I just want you all to know that we love Jennifer.  Jen thank you for being so important to Bryan.  Thank you for filling him with love and tenderness once more.  Thank you for making the last couple years of his life so complete and so happy.

            Now I just want to end with my testimony. Bryan was passionate in his testimony of the Savior.  This entire experience would have been unbearably more difficult without the gospel in our lives.  As we all sat at the hospital and received the information from the medical professionals, I was awed and humbled by the peace and love that enveloped us all.  My love for my family grew in leaps and bounds. I observed each of them deal with their pain in their own way as they drew from their own faith in Our Savior Jesus Christ.  I testify that our Savior’s love for each of us is individual and just what we need.  He knows us and loves us unconditionally.  He is an understanding and merciful Savior and he wants us all to come home. I testify that Bryan is in the arms of that same loving and merciful Savior.  I know that he is having  grand reunion with Daddy and Mallory and many others.  And I know that families are forever.

            It has been said

                        Who never mourned hath never known

                                    What treasures grief reveals.

This has been a hard journey but I thank my Heavenly Father for the growth and unity we all who ventured have experienced.